A WORD ABOUT SELF-HARM…

Many of us feel horrified when we get that call from school. As a very active parent of the Marlboro community and a psychotherapist practicing in Holmdel, New Jersey I know from my own experience, that my heart drops and my pulse quickens when I see the school phone number pop up on my caller ID, mainly because I’ve lived in Marlboro most of my life, I’ve gone to the grade schools all the way up to high school, and a call home is never good news. I’ve heard parents who have gotten the call that their child is being bullied, or a parent’s worse fear –self harm and suicide ideations. Unfortunately, we must face the hard truth that children do suffer from mental health issues. Did you know that Monmouth County suicide rates are at an all time high? Parents are caught off guard and often ask me why their child is doing this, how they got this idea in their head, and how to make it stop? The most difficult part of being a child and adolescent therapist is easing the mind of worried parents and at the same time respecting the boundaries of my young clients. Children and adolescent with issues of self harm and suicide ideations often have lost control somewhere along the line. Simply said, it is most often the root of a trauma, the moment when there was too much pain, and not enough power! Of course there are many variables but in order to better understand and empathize I educate and encourage parents to see that self harm and suicide is a child/teens way of regaining their power and control. As a psychotherapist my job is to empower the client, teach them coping skills, and most of all have them regain their sense of control through healthy thought patterns and behaviors. There is no shame or judgment in reaching out for help and getting professional mental health counseling, most importantly allowing the child to be heard is the first step in enabling them to recuperate the control they lost.